


Doubt

by cyberfroot



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-22 17:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10702098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyberfroot/pseuds/cyberfroot
Summary: You wake up in a hospital confused, everything's different than you remember. What happened?





	1. Don't Forget About Me

 It was going to be a great date, at least that’s what Josh told you. He refused to tell you what he had planned. His hand was holding yours; you admired his profile as he watched the road.

               “Like what you see?” he teased as he caught your eye.

               “Of course.” You said, smiling at him. “I just feel so lucky to have you.”  Josh smiled, his eyes still focused straight ahead.

               It was another ten minutes before you reached your destination. “A park?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow. He led you out of the car and to the trunk.

              “A picnic!” Josh exclaimed, pulling out a picnic basket and a bottle of wine.

              You laughed, “Wow Josh, you really know how to win a girl over.” He winked at you and started walking into the park. He stopped by a big tree and laid down the picnic blanket he had brought.

              You meet Josh at your work, it was a boring job but it paid the bills. You felt immediately drawn to him the second him and his colorful hair entered your office. You knew the other girls at the office were jealous of you but it didn’t bother you.

              Josh was right; the date was great, even though it started to rain in the middle of it. Everything was packed up and you were on your way home. Josh had his hand on your thigh this time, and you starred out the window admiring the way the highway looked in the rain. You both were silent, but it was a comfortable silence. The radio was playing some pop song quietly, accompanied by the rain hitting the windshield.

              You didn’t process it, one moment it was peaceful, the next you were tumbling towards the side of the road. You could only think about Josh and if he was okay. You managed to weakly mutter his name before everything went dark.

~

               “Call the doctor! She’s waking up!” A familiar voice exclaimed. You struggled to open your eyes, everything just felt so heavy. You managed to open your eyes, and looked over to where your mother sat on your bedside.

               “Mom?” You asked softly. It was hard to speak, your throat felt like sandpaper. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

               “I’m so glad you’re awake.” She said. “You got into a pretty bad crash.”

               “Is Josh okay?” You asked, worried. You didn’t know what you would do if he wasn’t.

               “Who’s Josh?” Your mom asked.  You tried not to freak out, maybe she just forgot in her panic.

               “You know, Joshua Dun? My boyfriend?” You clarified.

              “You mean the one guy from that band you like? What was it…? Twenty one Pilots?” She said, concerned.

              “Josh wasn’t in a band, he worked at my office. That’s how I met him.”

“I think you hit your head pretty bad in that crash hun, you’re a freelance photographer. And you don’t have a boyfriend.”

              You lay back down and stared at the ceiling. Your eyes were welling up, what was happening?  Was the whole thing with Josh just a dream? But it felt too real to just be a dream.  

~

               You were dismissed from the hospital a week later. Your parents took you back to their house, saying that your apartment was too far from them.

               You know didn’t live in an apartment; you lived in a small house with Josh, but nothing seems to be the same thing it used to be.

              Once they finally left you alone, you pulled out your laptop and searched the band your mom said Josh was in.

               Sure enough, there he was. With a man you didn’t know. It hit you hard; Josh didn’t even know you existed. You furiously wiped away the tears that were streaming down your face.

               You felt that you took every moment with Josh for granted; you would give everything to be back in his arms. You closed your laptop and placed it on the other side of the bed. You lie down and shut your eyes, hopeful that when you wake up it’ll be with Josh.

~

               It has been 3 months and 2 days since your parents sent you back to your apartment. It has been 4 months and 10 days since you last saw Josh. You’ve come to terms that you’re never going to meet him again, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

              You tried to listen to his music, but you couldn’t without crying. Every drum beat made you think about how much you miss him.

              You still worked as a photographer, despite forgetting all the skills your photographs turned out alright.

              You had just gotten home from the grocery store when you felt compelled to check your email. You dropped the heavy bags on the counter and threw open your laptop. You had a new email. You clicked it open and read it quickly. You leaned back against your chair; Twenty One Pilots wanted you to do a photography shoot with them. Your eyes welled up, and you hurriedly responded. Nothing could match the excitement you felt. You were finally going to see him again. But…

              What if he doesn’t like you?

              You froze, anxiety replacing excitement. You were just some plain Jane from a small town and he was a celebrity. You covered your head with your hands and sobbed into them, only two weeks until you know the truth.

~

               It was today, the photo shoot was today. You had to keep reminding yourself that this is real and not some made up delusion. You checked the emails multiple times to assure yourself.

               You looked for the outfit that you knew Josh liked the best, but you realized that you didn’t own the same things anymore. You sighed and picked the closest thing you could find. You grabbed your equipment, loaded the car, and set off for the studio.

               You forced yourself to breathe deeply. “It’ll be okay.” You assured yourself. “Everything will be fine. You’ll just take some pictures and then leave. That’s it.”

               The parking lot was empty. You guess you were the first person there. To your surprise, you were not the first person there. Tyler was talking to someone you didn’t recognize, and Josh…

               It took every part of your will not to run to him and hug him. You had to remind yourself that he didn’t remember you. That you were strangers.  

               “Hi.” You muttered, hoping to gain the attention of everyone in the room.

               “You must be y/n!” The guy Tyler was talking too said. “I’m Brad Gibson, we talked over email.”  

               “Yeah.” You said, smiling shyly and putting down your equipment so you could shake his hand.

               “I’m Tyler, the lead singer.” Tyler said.

               “Nice to meet you.” You said, shaking his hand.

               “And I’m Josh, the drummer.” You tried not to melt at his voice, but it was exactly as you remembered it. You grabbed his hand to shake, the last time you held his hand was on the date. It felt the same, but it didn’t have the same familiarity as you wanted.

              You were hoping he would recognize you and break you out of your misery, but you guess that things don’t work out perfectly in the end.

              You reluctantly let go of his hand, and turned towards the other guys. “There are dressing rooms down the hall if you would please go get changed.”

              They nodded and went down the hall. Brad stayed with you making small talk.

~Josh’s pov

              “I don’t know man” I said, pulling my shirt over my head. “I just feel like I know her from somewhere.”

              Even though I wasn’t facing him, I know that Tyler shrugged.

              “Maybe she was at a concert and you saw her there, that’d explain why you can’t remember her.” He suggested.

              “Yeah, you’re probably right.”


	2. Even When I Doubt You

               The photo shoot was fun. Both boys had a lot of interesting ideas that ended up looking great in the end.

               “Well, that’s a wrap boys.” You said putting your camera down. You must have taken over 200 photos.

               “You did good y/n.” Tyler said, placing his hand on your back. Josh nodded and walked with Tyler back into the dressing rooms. Your eyes trailed behind Josh until he disappeared around the corner. Once he left you didn’t know if you’d ever be able to see him again.

               “Tyler’s right. You did a really good job.” Brad said, helping you pack up your camera equipment.

               “Thanks, this was probably the most fun I’ve had doing a shoot.” You said.

              Tyler and Josh reentered the studio, Josh was laughing at something Tyler said. You just stared at him, missing the way he would laugh at your lame jokes. You wanted to yell at your past self, you took everything for granted.

              “Do you want to go out for dinner with us?” Tyler asked.

              “Yeah, I’d love to.” You responded. Every moment with Josh counted.

              “Actually boys I’ve gotta go.” Brad said, looking at his watch. “Have fun.”

              “Thanks.” You three said in unison.

              “Where are we eating?” You asked, hoping that it wasn’t some expensive restaurant because they might be wealthy but you sure as hell aren’t.

              “There was a place that looked nice down the street.” Josh suggested. “It was a Mexican place.”

              You and Tyler both agreed that the restaurant sounded nice.

* * *

              It sounded easier than it was. It killed you inside to sit across from Josh, not as lovers but as acquaintances.

               You couldn’t even call yourselves friends.

               Tyler had left for the bathroom, leaving you and Josh in an awkward silence. You wondered if Josh still had anxiety like he did before.

               “Do I know you?” Josh said, out of the blue. “Um, that came out differently than I intended it to.” He fidgeted with his hands, a habit he used to do when he was nervous. Maybe he did have anxiety.

               “I mean have we met before this? You seem really familiar and I can’t figure out why.” He said, staring down at his hands. Your mouth dropped open and you gaped like a fish. He may not have remembered you entirely but there was something there.

               Josh looked up, and you quickly shut your mouth.

               “I, uh, I gotta go.” You said, standing abruptly and leaving the restaurant. You didn’t want Josh to see you cry, but it was overwhelming. You’d lost all hope at him knowing who you are. You shouldn’t have doubted him.

               You sat down outside the restaurant and pulled your knees to your chest. You willed yourself to stop crying, it’d only make it more embarrassing if you walked back in with red and puffy eyes.

               “Y/n?” Josh called softly. He sat down next to you. You held back the urge to rest your head against his shoulder. Your fingers twitched, yearning to grab his hand. “I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t mean to.”

               “I know.” You said into your jeans. “Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone?” You asked tentatively.

               “Of course.” He said, you took a deep breath.

               “My life was a lot different before I got into a car crash.”

               “You got in a car crash?” Josh interrupted, surprised.

               “Yes but that’s not important.” You said. “I wasn’t a photographer, I had different friends, and I lived in a house not some dingy apartment.” You sighed. “My job was boring; I worked at a company called Westcott Corp.”

               “I know that name.” Josh said. “I’ve dreamt that I worked there before, it’s actually one of my most recurring dreams.”  You took another deep breath and motivate yourself to continue.

               “You worked there. That’s how we met. And we…” You paused, “We fell in love with each other. It was on our three year anniversary that we crashed.” Tears fell from your eyes as you remembered the moments before the crash.

               “Then I woke up in the hospital and had someone else’s life thrust on me. Nothing was the same.” You said, your voice straining against the lump in your throat.

               Josh wrapped his arm around you pulled you into his side. You relaxed into him instantly.

               “Another one of my recurring dreams is that I was on an amazing date but I never saw the person’s face I was on a date with.” Josh mumbled. “This is really weird, but I believe you.”

               “I’d love to get to know you better y/n.” Josh said, rubbing your arm. You smiled, hoping you could get him to fall in love with you a second time.


	3. I'm No Good Without You

             You had been staring at your phone for the past hour, you had sent a text to Josh asking him if he was free and he hasn’t responded yet. You rolled over to your side and put the phone down. Was he not interested in you anymore? You had had three great dates already and he always seemed like he was excited to see you. Maybe you were just holding him to the expectations that you had for the old Josh. He would always respond back quickly, but he wasn’t famous.

               Your phone interrupted you by ringing; you sighed and answered the phone before checking the caller ID.

               “Hello?”

               “Y/N!” Josh’s voice rang through the speaker. You sat up quickly and tried to stifle the excitement bubbling in your chest.

               “Josh?” You responded, chuckling.

               “I was in the studio with Tyler all day today but I’m free now, what do you want to do?” He said. A smile curled on your lips.

               “I was thinking that you could come over to my place and watch a movie?” You suggested.

               “Sounds good, I’ll see you in ten.” Josh said, hanging up the phone. You stood up and put on some nicer clothes than the pajamas you had been wearing all week long. It had been a while since you got a photography gig but you had enough saved to support you.

               You cleaned up the apartment while you waited for Josh, becoming more excited by the second. You were in the middle of folding a blanket when you heard a knock on the door; you dropped the blanket and rushed to the door.

               “Josh!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms around him in a hug, when he didn’t hug you back you pulled away.

“Oh, I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable…” You mumbled, gesturing for him to come inside.

               “It didn’t, I just wasn’t expecting it.” He explained. You followed him to the couch. He sat down while you shifted from foot to foot.

               “What do you want to watch?”  You asked.

               “Do you have Netflix on your TV?” He asked, gazing at you softly with his mocha eyes.

               “I do.”

               “Let’s watch the X-Files.” He said, grinning.

               “Sounds good!” You said, grabbing the remote and sitting on the opposite side of the couch, leaning against the armrest. Josh’s choice in shows was the same as before, you had spent countless hours watching alien conspiracy shows with him, cuddled into his side.

               After two minutes into his favorite episode he turned to you. “How come you’re sitting so far away?” He asked with a playful pout. He always used to so this when he teased you. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself that it was real.

               “I dunno.” You replied, shrugging. You moved right next to him on the couch and leaned your head into his shoulder. He put his arm around you and let his hand dangle by your shoulder. You sighed; it was just like it used to be; only different because this time you didn’t take it for granted.

               Josh fell asleep before you did; his head was leaning against the back of the couch, soft snores coming from his mouth. You had turned off the TV a while ago and were admiring him. You had spent most of the episodes watching his adorable reactions anyways. You couldn’t believe that he was back within arm’s reach of you.  You found yourself falling for him again and again, each difference between this Josh and the Josh you once knew only makes you love him more.

               “I’m no good without you.” You murmured, before snuggling into his side and falling into your own deep sleep.


End file.
